Monday, June 11, 2007

Burritos At Giant Stadium?

Friday night, I was at an international soccer doubleheader at Giant Stadium. The first game was Honduras v Panama, followed by Mexico v Cuba. They were playing in the Gold Cup, which is an international tournament for Central and North American countries (USA is 2-0).

The whole experience was so surreal. I made a stupid mistake right when I arrived at the stadium. My dad has this trick that he uses at Jet games, where he parks very far away from the stadium, so that when we leave we can pull right out into the exit and not be stuck in an hour of traffic inside the parking lot. Five minutes of walking is worth 60 of sitting in a car. So I parked near the exit, very far away from the stadium. What I didn't account for was that we weren't at a Jet game. 22,000 out of the 80,000 maximum fans were there, meaning there was no traffic at all after the game, and I felt pretty dumb walking across the entire empty parking lot.

The decrease in quantity of fans was more than made up by the increase in quality. That's not a knock on NFL fans, but a tribute to soccer fans around the world. Without a doubt, soccer fans are the best by far. Especially the crazy international guys. It was so bizarre, we saw just 7 other non hispanic white Americans at the game, out of 22,000. Every single person was Mexican, Panamanian, Honduran, or Cuban. It was so weird having people look at me as the minoritiy for once. What's even more weird was the smell of burritos that filled the parking lot before the game. Instead of fat white guys grilling burgers, it was little hispanic guys making burritos. Instead of footballs being tossed, it was soccer balls being juggled. It was just sooo surreal.

We got there pretty early and got front row seats behind the goal. This was amazing because we got in TV and had a great view for all the goals. And there were a ton. Panama upset Honduras 3-2 in the first game, and Mexico beat Cuba 2-1 in the second. There was so much action: amazing goals, hard fouls, great saves, everything.

But the game could have been boring and the experience would have still been amazing. The crowd was absolutely hilarious. Everybody had crazy sombreros on, or wrapped themselves in their country's flag. They had all these funny cheers and we couldn't understand anything they said.

There was this group of insane hondurans sitting behind us. They all had dreadlocks and danced the entire game. One of them kept holding the flag up to the sky and pointing and screamed "SI..SI..SI." And that was when they were sober. Then they got really drunk and starting going insane and running up the aisles and dancing. We we're dying.

I was also apart of the best wave I've ever seen. It went around the stadium 8 times I believe. Everyone was screaming and going nuts. The eruption that took place whenever a goal was scored reminded me of how amazing sports are. Some of these people seroiusly put the fate of their happiness in the outcome of the game. It's something I don't recommend, but it was really fascinating to see how happy and sad depending on their team's play.

I go nuts for the Rangers and Jets, Bill Simmons is a nutjob for his Celtics and Red Sox. But neither of us are on the level that some of these people were on. It's a level that I didn't really know existed. There was one kid sitting close to us. When Mexico scored the game winner, the player ran around and took his shirt off. For some reason, the kid sitting next to us just took his shirt off right after the player did. It was so weird and hilarious. We we're trying to figure out what could have possibly went through his mind to make him just take his shirt off.

It was a great night at Giant Stadium and one that has sent me on a mission to see English Premier League soccer live, and some day go to the world cup. Imagine what that's like compared to this. This was just a few crappy teams playing in the Gold Cup.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Why does everybody love Mike Emrick

I want to start this post by praising the NHL competition committee. The last few years have been both difficult and fairly revolutionary for the NHL. In sports, I'm a pretty big traditionalist. But the changes that the league has made over the past couple years have been effective and necessary. I don't want to get into the details, but the game is just so exciting, action filled, and safer: just better TV for both the casual and die hard hockey fan. Once the TV contracts get worked out so we are back on national TV, the league will really start to grow.

What I really want to discuss is why everybody is obsessed with Mike Emrick (the play by play guy for the cup finals). He is the league's go to guy for any nationally televised hockey game. He's won all kinds of awards for his amazing announcing. I even saw an article about him on, which is just ridiculous.

I hate him. I'll admit that my hatred for him is slightly biassed because he is the NJ Devils play by play guy during the regular season. But the more I see him, and especially the more I hear others praise him like he's Marv Albert, the more frusterated I get. I guess there are three things that I can't stand about him.

The first is his voice. It reminds me of Walter Cronkite on a helium overdose. I think that's actually a pretty impressive comparison on my part considering the closest I've come to hearing Cronkite's voice is when Jim Carey does an impression of him in the movie Bruce Almighty.

The second reason is that he makes every mundane play seem like it's the most amazing thing that's ever happened in hockey. I guess that's what people like about him. But I hate it. I'm tired of hearing him say things like "And NOW he PASSES THE PUCK BACK AND THEY REGROUP!" It's just ridiculous.

My third problem with Emrick is the most important one. He uses the most ridiculous verbs to describe actions in an athletic competition. Rather than talk more about it, I've made a list of strange verbs he's used that piss me off. In fact I'm gonna rank them (1 being the most ridiculous).

Mike Emrick Stupid Verb List (1st edition):
  1. Forklifted
  2. Knifed
  3. Whistled
  4. shovelled
  5. rifled
  6. steered
  7. Yanked
  8. Slinged
  9. Glided
  10. drilled
  11. chopped
  12. Popped
  13. Cancelled
  14. Weaved
  15. Heaped

Enjoy trying to watch the rest of the series without listening for Emrick's bullshit.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Best Ejection Ever

I don't want to build this one up. All I can really say is that Lou Pinella has met his match.
(look at the second baseman laughing at the end)
The Video

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Jose Reyes

Jose Reyes is pretty much everything that's great about sports. A couple nights ago, my friend Lee and I were watching the Mets Giants game. At one point Lee says, "Just look at Jose Reyes. He's like a 5 year old. He acts exactly the way a 5 year old would if he were in the MLB." At the time, the Mets were at bat and Reyes was standing up at the edge of the dugout next to Endy Chavez. Jose was dancing and grinning and waving his arms at the pitcher to try to mess him up. If you just said to yourself, "come on, it's the big leagues, there's no place for that," then I hate you. It was absolutely hilarious, and really just perfect.

It reminds me of the kid from the movie Little Big League, when a 12 year old plays for the Chicago Cubs. He gets on first base and starts dancing, making faces at the pitcher, and shouting the imfamous "pitchers got a big butt" chant. Then the pitcher pegs the batter in the back and says "that one was for you kid." I digress.

At the beginningn of the year, my friend Max said that Jose Reyes is the most exciting player in all of sports. I found it hard to believe that such a prestigious title could go to a baseball player, but it's true. He's already a top 5 player in the game. He gets big hit after big hit, has 28 stolen bases (more than several entire teams), has 7 triples already, and fields unbelievably well. Whenever this kid is at bat something ridiculous is about to happen. He can take a standard double and make it a triple, and he can take a single and steal 2 bases to get to third. He drives pitchers crazy. A couple nights ago, he was on first base, with the mets down 1 in the bottom of the 12th. He dances around and fakes a steal, which causes reliever Armando Benitez to balk. Reyes is on second. Then Benitez throws a wild pitch. Reyes is on third. Reyes messes around with Benitez some more and causes him to balk a second time! Reyes scores and the Mets go on to win.

And when he's not doing something amazing, Reyes is dancing and playing around on the field and in the dugout. He's also known for his amazingly creative and elaborate handshakes that he does with the 2 Carlos'. Everything about this guy is great. He's got that competitive edge that lets him be great, that little kid mentality that never left him, and the physical ability that gets you out of your seat on a regular basis.

Surprisingly, I couldn't find any good videos of Jose (youtube failed me for once). But I did stumble onto the greatest playoff catch I have ever seen. I'm sure you remember last year in game 7 of the NLCS, Mets vs Cardinals. It was 1-1 in the 7th and Edmonds hits a shot that shod be a homerun, making it 3-1 i think, and basically ending the season. But out of no where Endy leaps up and makes the most amazing over the wall snow cone grab ive ever seen, keeping the Mets alive. The catch's glory was diminished after the Mets lost the game and got eliminated.

The Catch
The Catch from the Crowd's perspective

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Back Soon

Not that I have a large fan base, but for the handful that do check this every now and then, sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have a lot of catching up to do, but it's gonna have to wait another week. I have 4 finals this week, but I'll leave you with these videos in the mean time.
Sports Bloopers 1
Sports Bloopers 2
Just Ridiculous Now

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Kentucky Derby

The great thing about the Kentucky Derby is that it's one of the most exciting sporting events we have that you don't have to see live to fully appreciate. There's no regular season, no playoffs, just 2 minutes. And now it's even easier with great sites like youtube. You can spend 2 and a half minutes and watch the complete race on youtube, and get the same entertainment as you would watching it live. Plus, you don't have to worry about avoiding all human contact before you watch it in fear of someone telling you who won. Because you don't know whose racing anyway. And even if you did, it's nearly impossible to tell them apart. All you have to do to enjoy the kentucky derby is get to a computer and watch it on youtube.

Great Season

Rangers lost today 5-4 and the season is done. I'm not gonna be ranting throughout this post; I'm on a pretty stable emotional level right now and I'm gonna be okay.

After the post game phone calls, I was able to really get myself together. I put my Ranger jersey back on, flipped on NHL 07, and played that for a couple hours while listening to James Blunt. I'm not one to brag, but it was at that moment that I realized what a great Ranger fan I am. If I could script what a perfect Ranger fan would do after a season ending loss, it would include playing NHL 07 and listening to James Blunt with a Rangers jersey on.

I feel like today I've become an even bigger Ranger fan than I have been. I honestly didn't think it was possible. But now that we are back in the hunt for the cup every year, I'm really starting to understand everything. My dad told me after the game 5 heartbreaking loss on friday, "Now you're a true Ranger fan." He explained that now I had experienced one of the classic Rangers melt downs with only seconds remaining in an enormous game. He was right.

I'm actually really impressed with all Ranger fans throughout the playoffs. The support was unmatched throughout the league. The garden was rockin every game. The 5 minutes after the final buzzer sounded was a special 5 minutes. I didn't know how the garden would react. It was perfect. After like 20 seconds of silence the garden started going nuts for the Rangers, giving them a huge standing ovation. Throughout the handshakes, as the players consoled one another trying to pick their heads up, the fans helped with a great Lets Go Rangers chant in complete unison.

For the past 2 seasons the Rangers had adopted a great european hockey tradition: after every win on home ice the whole team gathers at center ice and salutes the crowd with their sticks. It's an amazing tradition and the fans love it. Well even after the loss today, the boys stayed on the ice and saluted the crowd one more time as the fans responded with their enormous ovation. I'm gonna try to find the video of the 5 minutes after the game, it was amazing.

We had a great year, and could not have went out with more respect. So, I'll end the post with the 2 greatest words in sports: NEXT YEAR

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Game 5 Rangers Sabres (I guess I have to discuss it)

FUCK (I'd like to take a moment to let that sink in).. Well, it was 0-0 after 2 periods and about halfway through the third when the Rangers scored a great goal on a 3-2 break. But it was called off due to a goalie interference penalty that simply didn't happen. That's okay, because with 3 minutes to go we finally got on the board with a great wrister by my boy marty straka. It was amazing. Everything was perfect. The Buffalo fans had pretty much turned on the Sabres. Some people started to leave. The place was amazingly silent.

Okay, throughout the whole game I had been talking to Harry online. With just over a minute to go, I tell Harry that I really really need to poop. He gave me some encouraging words to fight through it. I was pacing around the room, just waiting for the fucking thing to end. I couldn't do it though. (No I didn't poop in my pants). But the Rangers iced the puck causing a stoppage of play with 15 seconds left. I figured that we could hang on and I just had to go poo. So I did...

It was a pretty quick and successful trip to the office, and I came back upstairs, walked down the hall towards my room basically giggling to myself with happiness and joy because the Rangers just took a huge 3-2 series lead vs the number one seed.

I come back into my room and the first thing I hear is the crowd going insane. I thought it was at Buffalo tonight, what's going on? Then I hear the announcer say, something like JUST 7.7 SECONDS AWAY FROM WINNING GAME 5, THE RANGERS NOW FIND THEMSELVES BACK WHERE THEY STARTED AS WE GO INTO OVERTIME.

I frantically said to myself, "What did I do?" They had tied it up with 7.7 to go and later they ended up stealing this fucking game in OT. Now the Rangers go back to NY on the verge of elimination in game 6 on sunday. But I am soooo sorry to every Ranger fan whose heart dropped like mine did when the Sabres tied it up. It was my fault. I took the win for granted. Those who know me well know that this is so uncharacteristic of me. Never again will I let an intestinal desire outweigh the heart's desire. I am never pooping during a Ranger game again. So like I said, FUCK. But we got to put it behind us and come out strong in game 6 and 7.

Recap of text messages and IMs regarding the game last night:

Text messages-
Bohm- "1-0 and should be 2"
Freddy- "ouch"
Bohm- "I'm gonna hang myself now"

Icekid99 (9:28:09 PM): you dont want a faceoff in ur own zone late
Sinkit510 (9:28:17 PM): i know its silly
Icekid99 (9:28:21 PM): ah ive got to poop
Sinkit510 (9:28:41 PM): bring your laptop into the toilet
Icekid99 (9:28:48 PM): im gonna be strong
Icekid99 (9:29:29 PM): ah I dont have much time here
Icekid99 (9:29:40 PM): im gonna poop right now
Sinkit510 (9:29:49 PM): no be strong
(I go, Buffalo scores)
Sinkit510 (9:31:45 PM): fuck
(I come back)
Icekid99 (9:35:16 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Icekid99 (9:35:21 PM): im never pooping again
Icekid99 (9:35:51 PM): ahhhhhhhh

Something else that is very noteworthy. In the great spring of 1994, the Rangers were up 1-0 on the Devils in game 7 of the conference finals, when the Devils scored to tie it up at 1 with 7.7 seconds to go. However, as we all know, the outcome of that game was slightly different. This is my favorite call of any announcer in any sporting event ever. And it's also a top 5 favorite sports moment of mine. It is Stephane Matteau in Double Overtime

Wednesday, May 2, 2007


Today the Yankees fired their conditioning coach after another Yankee player went down with a hamstring injury last night. The league's top pitching prospect, Phil Hughes, had a no hitter going into the 7th inning in just his second start ever. But he had to be taken out of the game and will be side lined for over a month due to a hamstring injury. This after Mussina, Wang, Pavano, and Matsui all went down with injuries in the first month of the season. Rumor has it that the training program this conditioning coach used was causing all of these injuries. So after last night, Cashman and the Boss let him go. All this talk about coaching makes me want to show some classic coaching speeches I've collected:

Bobby Knight Half Time Speech- This is one of my favorite sound clips of all time. I mean to be honest, I wouldn't call it a successful pep talk. Then again he is the most winning college basketball coach of all time. Love him or hate him, this speech is hilarious. Also, parental discretion is advised.

Friday Night Lights Half Time- I have to say, Billy Bob Thornton is kind of a douche bag, but this is the one movie I actually like him in.

Not Sure How to Label This One- I'm not even sure what sport this is. I'm guessing it's rugby, or maybe Aussie Rules Football. Either way, between the accent, the amateur footage, and just the look of these guys, this is a great clip.

Coolest Video On This List- This guy is the man. I'm not gonna lie, the music makes the whole thing much better. But if someone told me this was from a movie, I would completely believe it. I feel like killing someone after hearing this guy talk.

Billy Donovan- This is Billy's speech to the Gaters before their first of back to back national championships. I wish they could put cameras in the locker rooms for every speech. That would really be amazing.

Miracle - This is the best inspirational speech I've ever heard in my life, hands down. This movie, and really this speech, is what made me want to become a hockey coach.

Hoosiers- This is probably the worst speech and the worst acting I've ever seen. I just had to throw this one in. To my shame, I have actually not seen this movie yet. Apparently it's a classic sports movie. But just look at how stupid this clip is.