Burritos At Giant Stadium?

Friday night, I was at an international soccer doubleheader at Giant Stadium. The first game was Honduras v Panama, followed by Mexico v Cuba. They were playing in the Gold Cup, which is an international tournament for Central and North American countries (USA is 2-0).

The whole experience was so surreal. I made a stupid mistake right when I arrived at the stadium. My dad has this trick that he uses at Jet games, where he parks very far away from the stadium, so that when we leave we can pull right out into the exit and not be stuck in an hour of traffic inside the parking lot. Five minutes of walking is worth 60 of sitting in a car. So I parked near the exit, very far away from the stadium. What I didn't account for was that we weren't at a Jet game. 22,000 out of the 80,000 maximum fans were there, meaning there was no traffic at all after the game, and I felt pretty dumb walking across the entire empty parking lot.

The decrease in quantity of fans was more than made up by the increase in quality. That's not a knock on NFL fans, but a tribute to soccer fans around the world. Without a doubt, soccer fans are the best by far. Especially the crazy international guys. It was so bizarre, we saw just 7 other non hispanic white Americans at the game, out of 22,000. Every single person was Mexican, Panamanian, Honduran, or Cuban. It was so weird having people look at me as the minoritiy for once. What's even more weird was the smell of burritos that filled the parking lot before the game. Instead of fat white guys grilling burgers, it was little hispanic guys making burritos. Instead of footballs being tossed, it was soccer balls being juggled. It was just sooo surreal.

We got there pretty early and got front row seats behind the goal. This was amazing because we got in TV and had a great view for all the goals. And there were a ton. Panama upset Honduras 3-2 in the first game, and Mexico beat Cuba 2-1 in the second. There was so much action: amazing goals, hard fouls, great saves, everything.

But the game could have been boring and the experience would have still been amazing. The crowd was absolutely hilarious. Everybody had crazy sombreros on, or wrapped themselves in their country's flag. They had all these funny cheers and we couldn't understand anything they said.

There was this group of insane hondurans sitting behind us. They all had dreadlocks and danced the entire game. One of them kept holding the flag up to the sky and pointing and screamed "SI..SI..SI." And that was when they were sober. Then they got really drunk and starting going insane and running up the aisles and dancing. We we're dying.

I was also apart of the best wave I've ever seen. It went around the stadium 8 times I believe. Everyone was screaming and going nuts. The eruption that took place whenever a goal was scored reminded me of how amazing sports are. Some of these people seroiusly put the fate of their happiness in the outcome of the game. It's something I don't recommend, but it was really fascinating to see how happy and sad depending on their team's play.

I go nuts for the Rangers and Jets, Bill Simmons is a nutjob for his Celtics and Red Sox. But neither of us are on the level that some of these people were on. It's a level that I didn't really know existed. There was one kid sitting close to us. When Mexico scored the game winner, the player ran around and took his shirt off. For some reason, the kid sitting next to us just took his shirt off right after the player did. It was so weird and hilarious. We we're trying to figure out what could have possibly went through his mind to make him just take his shirt off.

It was a great night at Giant Stadium and one that has sent me on a mission to see English Premier League soccer live, and some day go to the world cup. Imagine what that's like compared to this. This was just a few crappy teams playing in the Gold Cup.

Why does everybody love Mike Emrick

I want to start this post by praising the NHL competition committee. The last few years have been both difficult and fairly revolutionary for the NHL. In sports, I'm a pretty big traditionalist. But the changes that the league has made over the past couple years have been effective and necessary. I don't want to get into the details, but the game is just so exciting, action filled, and safer: just better TV for both the casual and die hard hockey fan. Once the TV contracts get worked out so we are back on national TV, the league will really start to grow.

What I really want to discuss is why everybody is obsessed with Mike Emrick (the play by play guy for the cup finals). He is the league's go to guy for any nationally televised hockey game. He's won all kinds of awards for his amazing announcing. I even saw an article about him on deadspin.com, which is just ridiculous.

I hate him. I'll admit that my hatred for him is slightly biassed because he is the NJ Devils play by play guy during the regular season. But the more I see him, and especially the more I hear others praise him like he's Marv Albert, the more frusterated I get. I guess there are three things that I can't stand about him.

The first is his voice. It reminds me of Walter Cronkite on a helium overdose. I think that's actually a pretty impressive comparison on my part considering the closest I've come to hearing Cronkite's voice is when Jim Carey does an impression of him in the movie Bruce Almighty.

The second reason is that he makes every mundane play seem like it's the most amazing thing that's ever happened in hockey. I guess that's what people like about him. But I hate it. I'm tired of hearing him say things like "And NOW he PASSES THE PUCK BACK AND THEY REGROUP!" It's just ridiculous.

My third problem with Emrick is the most important one. He uses the most ridiculous verbs to describe actions in an athletic competition. Rather than talk more about it, I've made a list of strange verbs he's used that piss me off. In fact I'm gonna rank them (1 being the most ridiculous).

Mike Emrick Stupid Verb List (1st edition):

1. Forklifted
2. Knifed
3. Whistled
4. shovelled
5. rifled
6. steered
7. Yanked
8. Slinged
9. Glided
10. drilled
11. chopped
12. Popped
13. Cancelled
14. Weaved
15. Heaped

Enjoy trying to watch the rest of the series without listening for Emrick's bullshit.

Best Ejection Ever

I don't want to build this one up. All I can really say is that Lou Pinella has met his match.
(look at the second baseman laughing at the end)
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